


Hero

by Crowsnight66



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: "Could Have Happened" in Italics, "Hero" by Superchick, Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Gen, School Shootings, Self-Harm, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, alternate endings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 23:36:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7734172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowsnight66/pseuds/Crowsnight66
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allen is bullied because he's gay and looks different.</p><p>Lenalee is rumored to sleep around because she can't afford longer skirts.</p><p>Daisya just wants to fit in.</p><p>Kanda notices people are hurting when no one else does.</p><p>Are you a hero? Will you save a life?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hero

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This story is rated T for bullying, cutting, and suicidal thoughts/actions.

**No one sits with him.**

**He doesn't fit in,**

**But we feel like we do when we make fun of him.**

' **Cause you want to belong,**

**Do you go along?**

' **Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong.**

_I quietly sit in the corner of the cafeteria with my head down while I ate. Stupid school rules. The teachers won't let me wear a hood, hat, or anything that would cover my freakishly white hair, even when they witness the other kids picking on me._

_A group of girls, the cheerleading squad, walked past me while they giggled and whispered words to one another just loud enough for me to hear words like "freak" and "ugly". Of course, my therapist had told me to ignore them. I can only allow what I want into my head. Easy for her to say. She doesn't have to endure it every day._ Every _day._

_Ten minutes later, I clutch my binder close to my chest and walk quickly to my next class, which was on the other side of the school. My high school was one of the biggest in the county. One of the best, too._

_As I move to the other building, I spot a group of boys coming out of the building I was going into and I try to go around the long way, even though I know I'd be late to class if I did so. The group, five boys following the great Howard Link, noticed me though, and Link directed the others to where I was racing to get into the building where a teacher_ might _help me. Mr. Tiedoll always did._

_They catch up to me, and soon, I'm surrounded._

" _Look at what we have here," Link sneered. "Little Allen No-Balls."_

_I look down, my back to the brick wall, and hold my binder as if it could protect me from the hurtful words._

_The boys laugh as Link continues, "What's wrong, Homo? Did your boyfriend dump you? I bet you cried like a little girl."_

_I mutter, "I don't have a boyfriend and I don't cry easily."_

" _Oh, really? I can prove you wrong, freak."_

_One of the boys, whom I recognize as Daisya Barry, says, "Link, we should just go. He's had enough."_

_Link turns to the younger boy with a snarl. "What? Do you have a crush on him or something?"_

" _N-no!" Daisya objected. "He's the disgusting gay, not me!"_

" _Thanks for the support," I mutter._

_I was late to class with a forming black eye and busted lip. Mr. Levierre gave me detention for being late and told me to take a seat. Road whispered something in Lulubell's ear and looked at me before they both giggled._

**It's not like you hate him or want him to die,**

**But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide,**

**Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side,**

**And a kindness from you might have saved his life.**

" _Make sure you do the laundry," Cross said and took a swig of beer. I nod and go to the basement. As I'm down there, I move the cinderblock that hid his pistol._

_The next day, I walk to lunch quietly, the gun hidden in my backpack. When I sit down, Link, Daisya, and the other four boys sat with me._

" _Why don't we sit with you today? I hate to see you lonely," Link sneered as he took the apple in my hand and bit it. Daisya laughed. "Yeah, we'd hate to see you upset."_

" _Then you should scram," I growl as I fumble with the zipper of my backpack between my legs._

" _What was that, homo freak?" Link asked maliciously._

" _I said you should scram!" I snap and pull out the gun, cocked, loaded, and aimed at Link's head. Screams resonated through the cafeteria as people ran. I fire the pistol into the ceiling twice. "EVERYONE ON THE GROUND. NOW!"_

_Kids practically belly flopped to the tile. Link cowered under the table and pushed away anyone else trying to get under there with him. I could hear girls crying._

" _Allen?"_

_I whip around and point the gun at the figure that entered the cafeteria. Mr. Tiedoll held his hands up. "I don't have a weapon."_

" _Where are the cops?" I ask as I scan the room._

" _They're on their way," he said. I catch the sound of sirens in the distance. Mr. Tiedoll continued, "Do you want to talk?"_

_I scoff. "What is there to talk about? No one cares. The entire school knows what I go through, teachers and students alike. Why shouldn't they feel that pain?"_

" _This isn't the answer though," he said gently._

_Under one of the tables, a girl pleaded, "Please, don't―"_

" _SHUT UP!" I yell and shoot the trophy case. Glass shattered and fell on several students. I watch one of the girls on the cheerleading squad pull a large shard of glass from her shoulder._

" _Allen, they need medical attention. Just put the gun down and―"_

" _No," I growl and point the gun at Mr. Tiedoll again. "No one is leaving until they fix what they've done to me."_

_Apologies were murmured and cried through the room. My eyes narrow. "Cowards. Does the thought of dying scare you that much?"_

_Oo_oO_Oo_oO_

_I watch Allen talk to Mr. Tiedoll._

" _Daisya, this way," a girl whispered and pointed to the hallway, where a policeman was encouraging students to move that way. I hadn't moved an inch when I heard, "No, I'm not putting up with it anymore."_

_A gun shot rang through the cafeteria, followed by the sound of a body hitting the floor. I turn, wide-eyed, and expect to see Mr. Tiedoll on the ground._

_Allen's body lay on the floor, his white hair stained red. Blood pooled around his head, and the pistol remained clutched in his hand._

**Heroes are made when you make a choice.**

**You could be a hero―heroes do what's right.**

**You could be a hero―you might save a life.**

**You could be a hero―you could join the fight.**

**For what's right, for what's right, for what's right.**

"Oh, really? I can prove you wrong, freak," Link said.

I say, "Link, we should just go. He's had enough."

Link turns to me with a snarl. "What? Do you have a crush on him or something?"

"N-no," I object. I look at Allen, his head down and eyes filled with hate. I swallow the lump in my throat and stand beside him. "No, I don't have a crush on him, but I am his friend."

Allen stared at me. Link sneered, "Oh, friend, my butt. You two probably screw in private."

"And if we do, you're just jealous that no girl will go at it with you," I fire back. The rest of the boys snickered.

Link glared at me. "You'll regret this."

With that, he stalked to his next class and his minions followed, minus me.

"Thanks," Allen mumbled. I smile. "No problem. Now let's get to class."

At lunch, I sat with Allen. No one talked to us very much, but my brother, Kanda, always sat with us. He was my older brother, so I always thought of him as a role model. When Allen walked away to throw away his trash, Kanda glanced at me. "I knew you were smarter than Link."

I smile. "Does that mean you're proud?"

"Is that a life goal of yours?"

"Yes," I said. Kanda rolled his eyes and stood. "I'm not proud yet. In a few years, maybe."

 _Kanda would have been the perfect bully,_ I thought as he walked away.

**No one talks to her, she feels so alone.**

**She's in too much pain to survive on her own.**

**The hurt she can't handle overflows to a knife.**

**She writes on her arm and wants to give up her life.**

_I stare at the scars before I search for an empty space. When I finally find one, I slide my pocketknife across it._

_As I walk through the halls the next day, I can feel eyes on me. Girls whisper to one another while I try to hide myself in my locker. My leggings covered my cuts perfectly, though my short skirt was hard to miss. Everyone thought I was a ho. No, I just can't afford anything else and have been wearing the same skirts since grade school. They went to my knees then._

_I close my locker and turn, only to bump into the hottest guy in school._

" _Watch it," Kanda muttered. I quickly look down. "I'm s-sorry."_

_He pauses for a moment, and the bell rings. I move towards my next class, but Kanda stops me._

" _I'm going to be late," I say._

" _I'll get an excuse for you later," he says._

" _You can do that?"_

" _It's complicated, but yes."_

_No one else was in the hall except us. After a few awkward moments of silence, Kanda says, "Lenalee Lee, right? Komui's sister?"_

" _How do you know my brother?" I ask. He shrugs. "My father has…connections."_

" _Who's your father?"_

" _Tiedoll."_

" _The psychology teacher?"_

" _Yes."_

" _Um…so what has he told you about me?" I ask hesitantly. Kanda leans against the lockers. "You could say I'm an office worker. I know Komui is barely able to keep a roof over your head."_

" _O-oh," I say. "Did…did you tell anyone else?"_

" _No one even knows I have that information."_

_After a few more awkward moments of silence, he asks, "Do you always wear leggings?"_

" _I…I don't like having too much skin showing."_

_He nods and walks down the hall. "Get to class. If the teacher asks you where you were, tell them I wanted to talk to you."_

_When I walk into my science class, Mrs. Nine puts her hands on her hips. "Miss Lee, what took you so long?"_

" _I…um…Kanda wanted to talk to me," I say. She nods. "Take a seat and get out your homework. We're going over it."_

**Each day she goes on is a day that she's brave,**

**Fighting the lie that giving up is the way.**

**Each moment of courage her on life she saves.**

**When she throws the pills out, a hero is made.**

_The rest of the day went smoothly. I think. No one else talked to me. But the next day, I was called to the principal's office._

" _Ooh, you're in trouble," a girl sneered as I walk past her._

_The woman at the front desk pointed me to the back. When I walked in, Kanda sat in the desk chair. He glanced at me and said, "Sit."_

_I nod and do so. I ask, "Am I in trouble?"_

" _No, nothing like that," he said. "I just need you to do something."_

" _What is it?" I ask._

" _Take off your leggings."_

_I freeze for a moment before I snap, "Sick pervert!"_

_Kanda gazes at me, his expression calm. "I can already see your upper thigh. It's not like I'm telling you to pull up your skirt."_

" _You're still a pervert!"_

" _Pervert or not, your attitude is obvious," he says. I pause. "What do you mean?"_

" _Are you a cutter?"_

_I look down._

" _I must say, using your leggings to hide the scars is smarter than wearing long-sleeves," he comments._

" _I'm not a cutter," I say._

" _Unconvincing."_

" _Doesn't matter."_

" _Prove it then."_

_Silence falls over the room for several minutes. Eventually, I ask, "What are you going to do?"_

_Kanda leans back in his chair. "I'm not a bad guy. However, there is a counseling group that meets every Saturday that I would like for you to go to. The school will pay for it, and I'll drive you there if you don't want your brother to know yet."_

" _No, I'll tell my brother."_

oO_Oo_oO_Oo

_The next day, I woke up, and Lenalee hadn't made coffee yet. All the lights in the house were off. Confused, I knocked on my sister's door. "Lenalee?"_

_No answer._

" _Lenalee, I'm coming in," I say and turn the knob. As soon as I see the sight, I vomit. Lenalee had two long cuts vertically up her arms, and blood covered her skin and the carpet._

**Heroes are made when you make a choice.**

**You could be a hero―heroes do what's right.**

**You could be a hero―you might save a life.**

**You could be a hero―you could join the fight.**

**For what's right, for what's right, for what's right.**

Silence falls over the room for several minutes. Eventually, I ask, "What are you going to do?"

Kanda leans back in his chair. "I'm not a bad guy. However, there is a counseling group that meets every Saturday that I would like for you to go to. The school will pay for it, and I'll drive you there if you don't want your brother to know yet."

That weekend, I told Komui that Kanda was a good friend, though Brother wasn't very happy with me getting in a car alone with a boy.

As Kanda drove down the road, I ask, "So what are you exactly?"

"A human male."

"I mean, you said you were like an office worker."

"And?"

"And you're nothing like one."

He pauses. "I work for the school."

"You're not a student?"

"I turned twenty-three a few months ago. Little old for high school," he said.

"You look so young!" I reply. Kanda shrugs. "I get that a lot. Most people think I'm seventeen."

"I'm still confused though," I say.

"Too bad," he said as he pulled over next to a small house. "A woman named Fou should open the door. Tell her I brought you, and I'll be back in a few hours."

"A lot of people seem to know you," I comment, but he doesn't reply.

On Monday, I sat with Kanda, Daisya, and Allen at lunch. It was new for me. The whole sitting and talking with other people thing. Kanda never said a word, but Allen and Daisya kept a steady conversation. I turn to the bluenette. "So what do you do all day?"

**No one talks to him about how he lives.**

**He thinks that the choices he makes are just his.**

**Doesn't know he's a leader with the way he behaves,**

**And others will follow the choices he's made.**

I glance at Lenalee. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you don't go to class, right?" she asks.

I shrug. "I wander the halls, stay in the office, or sometimes I'll sit in the back of classrooms."

"Don't people figure out you're always there?"

"Most don't know I exist."

She giggles, and I raise an eyebrow at her. "What?"

"You're clueless!"

"Why is that?"

"Kanda, everyone knows you. You're infamous!"

"For what?"

"Being the hottest guy in school."

"The compliments just go on and on."

Oo_oO_Oo_oO

"Haven't you tried exercising?" one of the girls sneered. Another said, "No way! She can't put down her candy long enough!"

Miranda sat on the floor, head between her knees. When the bell rang, she didn't move. I quietly sit beside her. When she looks at me, her eyes widen. "K-Kanda?"

"And your name is Miranda, right?" I ask.

"How do you know my name?" she replies, shocked. I shrug. "I try to learn everyone's name."

"But why are you here? Don't you have class? Don't you hate me like everyone else?"

"You'd be amazed."

"I don't understand."

I lean back on the lockers. "Not everyone hates you. Why don't you sit with me at lunch later?"

She nods, and I take her hand. I run my thumb over the scratches on her knuckles. "And stop purging."

"I-I…how…you…?"

"Miranda," I say. She stopped and looked up at me as I continue, "You're beautiful. Those girls are jealous that you can get up in the morning and come to school without fancy makeup and a new hairstyle while they have to every day to keep their status. Besides, I know a very sweet guy who's had his eye on you for a while."

"W-who?"

"Let's just say he can't really keep an eye on you. Just his ears."

She smiles. "Marie?"

"But you didn't hear it from me," I tease and stand.

"Kanda?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you," Miranda whispered. I nod. "Tell your teacher you were with me."

**He lives on the edge. He's old enough to decide.**

**His brother who wants to be him is just nine.**

**He can do what he wants because it's his right.**

**The choices he makes change a nine-year-old's life.**

When I get home, I can smell cookies. I roll my eyes. "Dad, what the heck? Why are you making cookies of all things?"

"Yuu!"

That's the closest thing to a warning I got before a bundle of energy took me to the floor. The redhead smiled. "I made the cookies! Daddy just helped!"

"Great, more sweets," I mutter. Lavi stares at me. "Don't you want one?"

I say, "I'm not one for cookies."

Lavi pouts.

"But I will eat one," I give. The rabbit hopped off me and smiled. "Yay!"

I stand. Lavi outstretches his arms. "Carry me."

"You're nearly nine. I can't carry you around like when you were five."

"Please?"

Tiedoll stared at me as I walked into the kitchen, Lavi on my hip. I say, "Don't ask."

Daisya and Marie looked up from their card game. Daisya asked, "Why don't I get piggyback rides anymore?"

"If you want one, get it from Marie," I say. Marie shakes his head. "No, thank you."

Lavi took a cookie from the plate on the table. "Yuu, did you save anyone today?"

"Something like that," I say. Lavi smiles. "When I grow up, I want to be just like you!"

I set the redhead in a chair and crouch in front of him. "And why is that?"

"You're a hero! Like superman!" he said. "You save people all the time!"

"You have more potential though. You could be something much, much better," I say.

**Heroes are made when you make a choice.**

**You could be a hero―heroes do what's right.**

**You could be a hero―you might save a life.**

**You could be a hero―you could join the fight.**

**For what's right, for what's right, for what's right.**

Tiedoll hit me in the head with an oven mitt. I glare. "What was that for?"

He sits next to Marie. "Not everyone can do what you do. You may not have more than a high school diploma, but you are the only person I know who can spot hurting people."

"Correction, I'm the only one who tries."

"You're the only one who cares," Tiedoll said. Lavi adds, "And I want to care about other people! I want to help!"

"Do you want a lesson?" I ask. Lavi nods excitedly. I continue, "Make people smile."

"Smile?" he asks.

I nod. "I have my ways, and one of them is making people smile. I don't have to be goofy like you to do that, but you can make people smile just by being yourself."

"Do I make you smile?"

"Yes. I just keep it inside," I tease.

**Little Mikey D. was the one in class who everyday got brutally harassed.**

**This went on for years until he decided that never again would he shed another tear.**

**So he walked through the door, grabbed a four-four out of his father's dresser drawer.**

**And said I can't take life no more.**

**And like that life can be lost.**

**But this ain't even about that.**

**All of us just sat back and watched it happen.**

**Thinking it's not my responsibility to solve a problem that isn't even about me.**

**This is our problem.**

**This is just one of the daily scenarios which we choose to close our eyes,**

**Instead of doing the right thing.**

**If we make a choice and be the voice for those who won't speak up for themselves,**

**How many lives would be saved?**

**Changed?**

**Rearranged?**

**Now it's our time to pick a side.**

**So don't keep walking by,**

**Not wanting to intervene,**

**Because you just wanna exist and never be seen.**

**So let's wake up and change the world.**

**Our time is now!**

**You could be a hero (Our time is now).**

**Heroes do what's right.**

**You could be a hero (Our time is now).**

**You might save a life.**

**You could be a hero―you could join the fight (Our time is now).**

**For what's right, for what's right.**

Lavi's face turned serious. "I want to be a hero."

I nod. "Good. The world needs more of them."


End file.
